Shipwrecked - Chapter 151: No Pity (MF creampie)

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Chapter 151: No Pity

The next couple of days saw a lot of progress on all fronts. The weather cleared up and while warm, it wasn't scorching yet. A few high, stray clouds gave us brief moments of shade. Amy was feeling better and was mostly mobile again, still recovering her strength, of course, but back to contributing to the less laborious tasks like mending clothing and putting together new pillows and mattresses. Keekah, too, seemed to have recovered herself and was cheerful and was moving all around even when she had two infants hanging from her shoulders. Harry and Hermione were so damn cute. They both had these eager, sparkling eyes which tracked movement and seemed to see awe in every activity.

We made so much progress that Tok suggested it was time he head North with Takino to add strength to the long and hard efforts in the new fields. I agreed, and on the morning of December 12, he set off with the young laborer in tow, leaving a skeleton crew at the main camp. Other than the youngest mothers, Amy and Keekah, as well as Bailey, it left me, Kate, Nina, Kinnon, Mie, and Poln to rotate night watches and still keep things moving on other fronts.

I took my shift that night with Kinnon. I'd spoken with her only in light greetings since the night I'd shared with her and Nina. Hearing the two of them exchange those three little words shouldn't have been such a big deal, but I couldn't help wondering how this might play out with Hakee.

That's the thing about non-monogamous relationships. Communication and trust are vital to ensuring things go smoothly. And it wasn't a dichotomy. Monogamy might mean you are exclusive to one person, but non-monogamy did not make it's opposite. You didn't sleep with everyone just because you weren't limited to one person. And it was even more unclear when you got deeper into real emotional attachments. Sex could be difficult enough to negotiate and handle, but throw love on top of that, and you had to be really careful about the levels of consent to such connections, and the amount of information affected parties had at any give time.

Hakee had been in the North for many days since the newcomers arrived, and over that time, away from Nina, someone she clearly bonded with tighter than anyone, a new woman had come into Nina's life, and it was certain that Nina was falling for Kinnon, too. I wondered what Hakee would think, what she would feel, when she found out that Nina and Kinnon had taken a step towards a closer bond than mere sexuality.

It wasn't exactly something I wanted to discuss with Kinnon, though. It was a conversation for Nina that I hoped to soon have. Instead, when Kinnon walked up, naked but covered with a blanket, to take her place next to me at the outpost, I decided I was making a stand on a different issue.

I grabbed Kinnon's wrist as she began to unscrew the lid to her flask. “Not on watch,” I said firmly.

She eyed me a minute, then looked down at the flask. Kinnon seemed to debate her next move. “Alright,” she said after a moment of silence.

“Thank you.”

Kinnon nodded, setting the flask aside and looking out to where the stars and moon were reflecting off the relatively calm waters. “Have you told anyone?”

“About?” I asked.

“What I told you...”

“No... I can't say it has been easy, Kinnon. I'm... concerned.”

She stared off into the distance, then said, “I suppose I'd be worried in your position. But I'm fine, Kal. This is normal for me.”

“Being too hungover to wake up? Being really loud when others are sleeping because you're drunk?”

Kinnon shrugged, “Not often...”

“Not often is still too much. I think you know that...”

“Of course I do, Kal,” she snapped at me. “I'm not stupid. I know this looks bad.”

“I want to help you,” I said calmly.

“I said not to pity me, goddammit.”

“That's not pity,” I countered.

“Sounds like pity to me.”

“Kinnon, listen,” I tried to keep a soothing tone in my voice, “I can't pretend to be in your shoes, okay? I can't. But I've suffered tragedies of my own. Not the same as yours. We all have. Yours is... personal. I understand. I can't tell you to just get over it. It doesn't work that way, I know. But... you came here for a new start. A chance to change where you were heading. I think you know this is your way of trying to trust this to get better. It's a crutch that you've depended on, and I think it probably got you through some pretty bitter moments.”

“Ya think?” she spit.

I was quiet a moment. “Did anyone ever explain why this place is called Phoenix?”

“Don't recall...”

“The Harry Potter books, you know them, I assume?” She nodded and I continued, “Dumbledore had a phoenix, named Fawkes. It aged through its life, and then, when its vitality was fading, it shed its feathers and burst into flames, only to be reborn into a new body to again grow strong. Bailey picked that name because coming to this place, for us, was much like Fawkes' burning day. It was a cleansing of the old world and giving us a fighting chance in the new. We were reborn here, in a way. Everything changed, and whatever troubles we had before this place were given their leave and we started fresh together.”

Kinnon said nothing.

“This is your chance, Kinnon. You won't ever forget what happened. You don't have to forgive. But this is the chance you've been looking for. This place gives you that opportunity. These people. You saved Amy's live. You'll save more as the days roll by. You can find love and pleasure and satisfaction in a good day's work here. If that's not everything you've wanted, please... tell me what else you need?”

She was still for a long time. I thought she might be near to crying. Instead of words, she turned to me, pressed her lips gently onto mine, and let out a long-held breath. “Okay,” she said quietly, “I'll try...”

“Don't try cold turkey. That stuff is way too strong. But I bet you have a med or two help you out. Hopefully not something equally addictive...”

“I know a couple... I'll stop drinking during the day... at least... less than now... and half as much at morning and night. I'll try, Kal.”

“That's all I ask.”

“Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

She grew silent again and I wrapped my arm under her blanket and over her shoulder, pulling the woman against me. She smiled at me then rested her head on my arm. “Nina talked to me, too. She doesn't like me drinking.”

“Big words you too spoke the other night. Mean them? Or was that just the orgasms talking?”

Kinnon chuckled. “Mean them. You know, as much as you can ever mean that to someone you've only known a short time. She's wonderful, Kal. In bed and everywhere else. I can see why you love her.”

“We were once much closer than now. Before the world went crazy. She, Kate, and I had a close triad for a good run. Things changed here... we were apart, you know, and I'd accepted their deaths and fallen for my lovers on the island. Nina's a great person in many ways.”

“I don't really love easily, Kal,” Kinnon said, sitting up again. “I don't know why I said it to her the other night. I meant it... but that's not like me. Sure, I'll fuck any woman who wants me, but love? That's been reserved for two or three very special people over the years. And now... I think Nina is one of those.”

I held off talking about Hakee. Kinnon needed an uplifting conversation, not one steeped in potential relationship drama surrounding her new lover's primary partner.

“If the hard stuff is out... how do you keep going all night? I barely made it through my last set of watches.”

“Coffee if I feel tired. If you're sleepy, I'll take first shift.”

“Kinda craving a drink right now. I'll not sleep for a while, I think. But I'll take you up on the coffee.”

I poured her a cup from the thermos I'd filled just before coming down to the outpost. “Then I'll turn in and try to sleep. Wake me when you need a switch.”

I crawled over her to the bunk built into the outpost and pulled the blanket over my body. “Sleep well, Kal,” Kinnon told me.

- - -

The next afternoon, I had my chance to talk to Nina privately. She'd finished a long stretch of gathering banana nuts and berries and, after storing them, she joined me in the shade of the big tree in the middle of camp. I passed the lit, half-smoked joint to her and she inhaled deeply before passing it back.

“Can I talk to you about something I'm worried about?” I asked.

“Any time, Kal? What is it?” Nina replied.

“Hakee,” I said. “She doesn't know about you and Kinnon doing more than just fucking.”

“Yeah...” Nina looked down at her feet and reached for the joint. “I've been thinking about that too.”

“And?”

“I love her, Kal. Hakee and I... we're close...”

“But you told Kinnon you love her, too. Doesn't Hakee deserve to know?”

“Of course she does. It's just... there's not been a chance, you know?” Nina inhaled and held the joint between two fingers. “I don't want to tell her over the radio, that's just not cool. But... She's North, I'm here, and... and Kinnon has been wonderful. I couldn't help myself from falling for her...”

“I know... I see the same in her.”

“So what do I do, Kal? I don't want to hurt Hakee or lose what we have... do you think she'll be angry?”

I shrugged. “I dunno. Polyamory isn't easy when you aren't communicating, intentionally or not. Things have changed for you, and that impacts Hakee,” I said, taking back the joint, “you have to talk to her, and if that means going North, you should go, even if just for a day or two. We're fine here.”

“Okay,” Nina replied, “I'll do that.”

“And... I'd like Kinnon to stay. You and Hakee will need some one-on-one time, I think. To talk things through. Reassure her. Make her remember why she loves you. She's shared you with me and Kate and Tok, but that's a different dynamic than Kinnon, who she barely knows and who she hasn't had a chance to befriend yet. She's a stranger to Hakee, so you being in love with her... well... take your time and talk it through, that's all I can suggest.”

“I'll do that. In the morning?”

“That would be fine.”

“Okay.”

I sipped my water and crushed the empty joint paper remains into the sand.

“I thought of something crucial, Kal, about our defenses,” Nina said suddenly.

“Oh?”

“The interior. All of our strong positions are facing the beach and the water. It would be so easy for someone to come ashore elsewhere and just creep up behind us.”

“What do you propose?”

“Two new positions, one to the East of the stream, another wider one which can cover the areas West and North. We have the people for it, well, after the field work is done, so we won't be spread thin. I think we have to do it as soon as possible.”

“Alright. I'll be in contact with Gale to let her know our resource needs, and, once we've got the expanded water storage project completed, we'll get right on it.”

“Sounds good. And we need to start drilling again. Immediately. The new people aren't even up to speed on the basics at this point.”

“I'll handle that tomorrow. It'll just be Kinnon and Ekoh of the new folks. Popko told me last night that they've been doing thirty minutes a day in the North, so it sounds like they're underway there. Will have to work them in the South to get a feel for positions and such. Oh,” I said, remembering a forgotten task, “Can you take Mie and Poln and get those prepared supplies up to the cave? Gale had us package and set them aside to ensure we had enough to cover the new people, they just need dropped off and the ones there checked for infestations and such.”

“Can do. I'll set out in the morning with the cousins and send them back here when we're through, then head on to the North.”

I leaned forward and kissed Nina's forehead, then told her I loved her. She smiled and said the same to me.

- - -

It was a skeleton crew in the main camp on the morning of December 13th. Aside from the four-year old Aholinah, Holly, there were nineteen people in the North and one more, Nina, on her way there. That left nine of us plus four young children in the South. I was thankful we'd gotten ahead during the good weather because an hour or two before midday, a furious storm rushed in from the West and drove rain and small hail down onto the shelters. It was a good thing Mie and Poln had returned from the cave just moments earlier.

Inside the common room, there was a lot of activity during lunch, people chatting, jokes. Despite the weather, which was a bit worrying, the group was in good spirits, especially as Amy continued to improve. She was desperately wanting to nurse Azure, but Kinnon insisted the young mother wait another few days so as not to tax her body and to ensure Azure wasn't wasting effort trying to pull out less-than-optimal nutrition.

Bailey and I worked on shelving in Kinnon's shelter after eating, and then we pulled out rations for the evening meal. I passed a joint around to those who wanted it, and Kate took it quickly. Kinnon eyed it a moment. I knew she was thinking about a drink, but she'd made an effort already to be less obvious about her habit, at least to my eyes. I rarely saw the flask in her hand, but I knew she had it easily accessible back in her room. I'd seen it near the wall beside a pile of blankets. I hoped she was consuming less. So far, she seemed to be doing okay.

Kinnon took the joint from Kate, then offered it to Ekoh. The older man eyed it with a grin, took hold with two fingers, and inhaled a long drag. Of those in the South, and not counting the diapers on the little ones, he was the only one wearing any clothing. Other than dips in the surf to bathe, alone or sometimes while another male did the same, he never showed his nakedness. I wondered if his hold up was still a worry about the size of his cock.

Amy read to the girls and Harry in our shelter while Keekah napped there after supper. I was starting to feel more like myself with decent sleep and full meals the past few days. One by one, the others turned in, leaving Kinnon and I holding books in our laps in the candlelit room, the storm raging on outside.

She looked up at me and said, “How long do you think Nina will be gone?”

“A day or two, not likely more,” I replied.

“I miss her.”

“I'm sure she misses you, too...”

“She didn't say exactly why she was going... but,” Kinnon said evenly, “this is about Hakee, right?”

I nodded.

“I don't want to be a homewrecker, Kal. I never wanted that.”

“You're not. There's just... been no good chance for Nina and Hakee to talk while this all happened,” I assured her, “and those two are really close. She needed to go have some time with Hakee and talk things out. See where everything is with them now.”

“I hope they are okay... I love Nina, but... Hakee was hers first,” Kinnon said, pulling her knees up to her chest and setting the book aside, her freshly-shaved crotch shiny and bald, her labia splayed just slightly open between her thighs.

“Just give them a chance to work through it. If you two need to have a little distance... just go with it. Definitely don't push things.”

“This is new to me, Kal,” Kinnon said, twisting her legs to the side and leaning onto her elbow, facing me. “This idea of non-monogamy. Polyamory. I never even thought about it before all this. It feels... unbalancing.”

“It can be, especially when everyone involved isn't talking a lot. You don't know where you fit in, and once Hakee hears about you and Nina growing close, she'll wonder the same things. That's natural.”

“So... what do I do? If Hakee and Nina split...”

“Let's worry about that only if it happens,” I replied. “Playing what-ifs won't help here. Just keep your emotions in check as best you can. Feel what you feel, but don't try to read tea leaves. Let Nina and Hakee talk a day or two, and then you'll get a chance to find out where this all comes together.”

Kinnon was quiet a moment, then she said quietly, “I told her, Kal.”

“Told her?”

“About what happened to me. It came out the other night, when we were cuddling together. I told her everything.” She slid closer to me and sat back down a couple of feet from my side. “I hate telling people about that. I don't want pity. I don't like feeling so... raw... remembering and telling it...”

“I'm sorry, Kinnon.” I instinctively moved over and slid my arm around her.

Her arms snaked around my neck and she buried her face against my shoulder. “It's okay. It was... a little easier... telling it the second time... Maybe...”

“It gets better...”

“That's what my first therapist told me. That was a lot of years ago and I'm not convinced she was right.”

“I promise you,” I said, kissing her forehead. “Give it time here. This is your fresh start, Kinnon. You can't delete the past, but you can direct your future. That's all anyone can ask for.”

“That,” she said, “and a nice kiss.”

Kinnon looked up at me with a softness I'd not seen. She pressed her lips to mine, and, just as soft as her expression, massaged my lips with hers. I wasn't pulling away. Kinnon's lips were sensual and sweet, and I could tell she needed that reassurance in that moment. Lesbian or not, the woman clearly enjoyed kissing me.

I held her against me, the kiss erotic but more friendly to me. I didn't expect more than that from her, nor was I seeking it. Kinnon's lips and tongue were full of tentative pleas for assurance, and I did my best to give her those.

“Stay with me tonight,” she said against my cheek. “I'm lonely.”

“I'd like that,” I replied. “Give me a few minutes to check in with the others.”

Kinnon got up and made her way towards her room while I walked the narrow passageway to my shelter. Inside, Amy was slowly rocking Azure and Katie against her, Kate, Bailey, Keekah and the twins asleep and snoring lightly. “Need a break?” I whispered.

Amy smiled and shook her head, “No, we're fine. These two are about out. I'll turn in myself shortly. Coming to bed soon?”

“Kinnon asked me to keep her company tonight with Nina away. She's... in a bit of an emotional mood.”

Amy nodded. “Nina went to talk to Hakee about her... I can understand... Okay, go take care of her, Kal. Love you.”

“Love you, too. So glad you're feeling better, Amy.”

She smiled and turned her attention back to the slowly rocking girls in her lap.

I made my way to Kinnon's shelter and stepped inside. The woman was in a ball under the covers, and the single small candle cast soft shadows of her form against the wall. I stepped down to the mattress and slid in, a little uncertain what Kinnon would think about me pressing my flaccid penis against her buttocks.

We lay there in silence, a foot or so between us, then I felt like the distance was making it more awkward than necessary, so I scooted closer, keeping my hips back a bit, and wrapped an arm over Kinnon's stomach. I felt her tense and jerk, and I pulled back quickly, afraid I'd triggered an instinctive negative response. She took my hand and guided it back to her stomach and ran her fingers between mine.

“Thanks, Kal...” Kinnon whispered.

I couldn't tell if I smelled alcohol on her breath. “Any time.”

- - -

Azure turned two months old on December 14th. It was incredible how much she'd grown in that short time. Her bright face was always wet with slobber or milk from Kate or Bailey, and she always seemed delighted to be held up close to someone's face, smiling. I loved the color of her skin, the bronze and tan tone a brilliant mix of Amy's pale flesh and Tok's rich brown.

I smiled at Amy as I sat the girl back on her lap having taken her with me while I checked on Mie who wasn't feeling well. Kinnon had said it wasn't serious, probably just a cold, but after Amy's scare, I took nothing lightly. Mie had diarrhea and was nauseous in the night, but she was still drinking fluids and wasn't running a fever. We made sure she got as much of the reconstituted milk as she could drink, and that seemed to help the nausea settle down.

The storm had lightened during the day, but the rain continued. During a short period when the winds were switching from the West to the South, I stepped out and did a quick survey. Whatever hail had fallen had melted quickly. There were a couple of buildings with small branches on them, but nothing looked critical. The stream was blocked again, the water likely spilling its banks somewhere in the interior, but we had a full reservoir and clearing the blockage could wait for the storm to pass on.

We otherwise stayed inside. The extra attached outhouse we'd completed days earlier, while Tok and Takino were still in camp, certainly came in handy with Mie sick and often needing some privacy in one of them.

Kinnon was a touch withdrawn all day, but I'd not seen her carrying the flask. I was sure she was still drinking, but I continued to believe she could work past the problem with support and time. I passed her coffee or tea whenever I saw the look in her eye which suggested the flask was drawing her to come visit.

Nina didn't return that day, and I hadn't expected her to be back until at least the next morning. I hoped things went well with Hakee. We'd not had radio contact since the storm and I figured the solar power panels had become disconnected and the batteries had drained. We had charged backups, but those were really for emergencies, and I wasn't worried about a day or two without hearing from them.

When the storm picked back up, I told Ekoh and Kate not to worry about watch unless the rain dropped off in the night. There was no point in sitting out there when there was nothing to see in the pitch blackness.

I knew without being asked that Kinnon wanted me to keep her company that night, so I kissed my wives and all the children before heading down to the woman's shelter.

I found her sitting against the wall, the flask in her hand, her eyes staring down at the container.

“I'm not having more,” she said firmly.

“Okay...”

“I haven't had a drink since this morning.” Her hand was shaking slightly.

“I know that's not easy...”

“It's almost too much... But I'm trying... for just one night... to see if I can do it,” Kinnon explained, “I'm just... I need to know it's here, is all. I need to know it's here.”

“Anything I can do to help?” I asked carefully, sitting beside her against the wall.

Kinnon was silent a moment, then she very deliberately screwed the cap back on, looked at the flask a moment, then slid it across the floor to the far wall. “Don't judge me when I pick that back up again.”

“I won't.”

“I'll judge me.”

“Your own worst critic. I get that.”

She managed a small smile, “Someone has to do the job.”

“Tell me something,” I said, trying to take her mind off the cravings, “I've never met a lesbian who liked to kiss men. Granted, most of the women I hung around were either straight or bisexual, but I guess I assumed that wasn't exactly typical.”

Kinnon laughed and shrugged, “I like to kiss... I... I've not really had much experience with men. Never wanted to.”

“I thought you said you sometimes did.”

“Oh, maybe an odd fantasy or something. I've kissed guys, sure. I like to kiss, like I said. Usually gay guys. They were great kissers and I didn't have to worry about them trying to turn me or some such bullshit. Just kissing.” She smiled again, “I jerked off a guy once. When I was fourteen. Well,” she said, looking at me, “twice now, including you.”

I returned her smile. “I did enjoy that.”

“Me as well,” Kinnon sighed, “but it was just... you know, in the moment. I... I never was attracted to guys... still not. Though a part of me... a big part of me... is sad that the only time I've done more with a guy... well... you know about that...”

“That sucks...”

“Tell me about it,” she groaned. “Anyway... I just... I guess I want you to understand, Kal. You're different, somehow. Not like... a guy... not like I'm used to. You don't hit my squick triggers, and I've got a ton of those. Your touch... your lips... it's like kissing a woman, and yes, I mean that only as a compliment.”

“I've kissed a lot of women who are great kissers, so I'd take that as a compliment however you meant it.”

She giggled, “Yeah, me too. Nothing like a woman's lips on mine... or sliding over my breasts... or eating my pussy... mmm...”

I didn't exactly know what to do. There was a very odd emotional and sexual tension in the room. Good and bad vibes, so to speak. I just sat and listened.

“Anyway... thanks for hanging out, Kal... I really appreciate that you've supported me and been so understanding,” Kinnon paused, chewed on her thoughts a moment, then added, “this is crazy. Really crazy...”

“What's crazy?” I asked, confused.

“What I want to say to you...”

“Which is...?”

Kinnon turned slightly and watched my face as she spoke. “Kal... the only real experience I have with men was horrible. I wasn't interested in them before, and I was even more certain I never wanted one again afterwards. But... but I need something to break this for me. I need... to know that it isn't always that bad. That... maybe... I can trust men again... not to get them in bed, but... I can't keep letting this destroy me inside. I... want... you to make love with me... If you want that...”

Kinnon's eyes twitched, clearly nervous by what she'd just said. She studied my expression as I tried to respond. “Kinnon... I... really don't know what to say... I'm honestly not sure...”

She watched and said nothing.

“I worry that you're lonely. That you're confused about your place here, about who you are and who you want to be. That you're trying to break a bad habit. I get all that. I don't want to be just a temporary crutch for you. Not tonight, not ever. You deserve better. I... I'd feel like I was taking advantage of you.”

“No pity, Kal.”

“No pity. But think about it from my view. Just try to see why I resist. You're beautiful and smart, talented. I love your company. I worry this would just make things worse for you, not better. That you'll regret this in the morning. That I'll just be the last guy who took advantage of you. I never want that, for either of us.”

She spoke quietly. “I understand. I do. But I also know myself better than you can know. I'm rarely moved by spontaneous moments. I'm calculating. I hesitate. Kal... This idea... I've had it for some years now. I've just never found the right person to see it happen.”

“But... you're not even attracted to men.”

“No,” she said, leaning closer to my face, “but I'm attracted to you...”

Her kiss melted away whatever resistance I held. She pulled back a moment and said quietly, “I ask that you let me... take it slow, okay? Just... I need to be in control of things...”

“Whatever you wish...”

Her kiss was delicate and sweet. The overpowering taste of the grain alcohol she usually consumed was absent, letting the lush, rich flavors on her tongue wash into me. I didn't move except as she led me. We slowly worked our way to the mattress and Kinnon slid over me, pressing her large breasts down onto my chest. “Touch me...” she said breathlessly.

I slid my hands onto her shoulders and held them there, gently stroking her flesh as we kissed. Her hands carefully ran down my sides and along my hips. I moved my own down to the small of her back, caressing her there, just simple, kind movements.

Her body began to slide very slowly up and down mine. I was quickly becoming erect, my cock pressing against my stomach. I thought she was going to suck me, but instead, she turned onto her back and pulled me to her to kiss again. I began to knead her tits, the large mounds supple and warm in my hands. “Taste me...”

I moved down her body, kissing her every inch or so, leaving a trail of saliva from her neck to her breasts. I paused there, suckling her teats. Kinnon moaned and ran her hands through my hair. She pushed me lower, almost insistently. My head was soon between her parted thighs and I could smell her arousal, rich scents of Kinnon's wet pussy filling me with excitement. I lapped along her inner thighs then turned towards the dark-brown and pink treasure between.

Kinnon shuddered at first contact, her clit drawing up, erect, prominent and strong where it emerged from her fleshy hood. I licked her slowly, carefully, ensuring each motion was wanted. Desired. I tasted her wetness and found it sweet and tart, silky on my tongue and pungent as I spread it along her labia. Her hips rose and I found her clit again, lapping it with more urgency. Kinnon moaned louder, “Ohhh... Mmm... Ohhhhhh...”

She began to jerk under me and I licked the underside of her clit before swirling it between my lips, sucking lightly, then I probed her silky vagina with my tongue, drawing out her creamy wetness. Kinnon grasped my hair and pushed me hard against her crotch, smothering me. I tasted only her private flesh, inhaled only her most personal aroma, and she came in long, rolling thrusts of her hips, her clit throbbing on my tongue.

Kinnon relaxed her grip on my hair and then quickly pushed me onto my back. We kissed again as she rose over me, her legs straddling my thighs. My penis was drooling just an inch from her wet cunt.

The look on her face was hard to read. There was certainly arousal and desire, but I thought I saw apprehension. Fear. Perhaps worse. It caused me to lose my erection as I worried about her state of mind.

Her fingers of one hand slid over my dick and she slowly stroked me back to life. We kissed again, my hardness pulsing against her bare mound. “I want this...” she said. I think it was more for her own ears than mine.

Kinnon slowly rose and brought my penis up against her labia. She hesitated, not moving, breathing heavily. “I want this...”

She slid down very gradually, the heat of Kinnon's vagina flushing along my shaft, inch by wonderful inch. Kinnon didn't stop midway. Her labia made contact with my groin before she let out her breath and became still again.

Her eyes were closed and I raised a hand to her face, to offer reassurance. On contact, her head tilted onto my fingers and she rubbed her cheek against them. “You're amazing, Kinnon,” I said honestly. “You're amazing...”

She didn't respond, but her body moved. Slightly up, then back down. Her mouth hung open, the mix of emotions still clouding her expression. Up and down. She never moved half-way. All the way up until just the very tip of my dick was inside her, and then back down to the point where my entire length was inside. She was tighter than any woman her age should be. I didn't say so, but the way I moaned surely told her how good her pussy felt on my cock.

I caressed her breasts again as she learned to ride me. She may never have willingly fucked a man, but she certainly knew how to move her hips and her thighs in unison, opening and closing her legs as she rose and fell, creating a movement of waves which built on the slippery flesh moving along my length.

I brought both hands to her face and touched her gently, and she leaned down for a kiss. Her tongue swirled in my mouth, her breathing growing heavier and small sounds of pleasure escaping from her lips into mine. The juices in her vagina were slowly churning into a foam where we were joined.

Her hands moved down to caress my chest. Tentatively, perhaps, delicate and gentle. Her eyes opened to watch her fingers on my body, as if she couldn't accept that it was a man below her. Her hips were rising and falling, no faster than the first stroke, savoring, or, perhaps, preventing a bad reaction to the penetration. I had a hard time focusing on the pleasure as worries about Kinnon's certain mental whirlwind took charge.

But she leaned close again, her eyes staring into mine. “Kal...” she said quietly, her pussy moving carefully up and down my dick.

“Yeah?” I said before moaning.

“Do you want to cum in me?”

“Yes,” I replied, groaning as my hips strained to make it happen.

“I want you to cum in me, too...”

“Keep doing what you're doing and I will...”

“Okay,” she said, kissing me and keeping her slow movements steady and wonderful.

I nuzzled her neck and she did the same to mine, my hands around her body, holding her. She slid hers under my shoulders and held me against her, laying over me, the angle of her body making my dick pulse each time she slid back against it.

It was one of those orgasms where time slows down. It was lovely. She moved her body an inch or two each way, and I did the same, building second-by-second. No rush, no urgency, as if this was as much about the gentle touches as the copulation. I kissed her lips and said, “I'm cumming, Kinnon. Keep fucking me...”

“Ohh...” she sighed.

I felt my semen rise gradually up my shaft, hesitantly, no real force trying to push it out. I hung on the edge for what seemed like hours, just one good hard thrust away from ejaculating. My cock burned, the tip sensitive, Kinnon's body on mine, her sweat dripping onto my flesh. I loved every second of it, and when the first thick jet of cum finally boiled out of me, I let out a long moan of pleasure, not thrusting into her, letting Kinnon decide how I came.

I boiled for long seconds, filling her, creaming her pussy with a thick, boiling load of seed. I overflowed her vagina, the sticky globs of jism squishing out with each slow rise and fall over her hips. Over and over I pulsed inside Kinnon's body, emptying, filling, ejaculating like it was my religion. Kinnon's body was my temple.

We held together long after my cum had stopped flowing and her hips rested on me. She was still breathing heavily against my neck. I tried not to move, letting the woman digest what had to be a very bittersweet moment for her. I hoped it was no worse.

She leaned off my neck and I saw she was crying. “Oh, Kinnon...”

“No,” she said, trying to smile, “I'm okay... this is... overwhelming... just hold me...”

I did, hugging her body and kissing her cheek and her forehead. I felt her jerk in response to my cock slipping from her pussy, the cum running freely over my balls. We held like that for a long time, saying nothing, Kinnon sobbing, her salty tears more than once finding my lips.

“I wanted that...” she said, and again I expected that was for her own benefit.

I hugged her tighter and whispered, “It's okay, Kinnon. You're okay.”

“I know,” she said, another small smile breaking through the tears. “I'm okay.”

She slowly slid her body off of mine and curled up against me, pushing her head against my chest. “Just... hold me... please...”

“I will,” I told her.

She fell asleep long before I did. I was troubled, in many ways, by what had just happened. I hoped what we did hadn't made her mental torture that much worse.